Being a single parent is hard enough without unsolicited advice. Never say the following things to a solo mom or dad.
There are millions of single parents around the world and no matter what their reason is for being a single parent, there are just some things you don’t ask them. Being a parent is, well, just downright hard sometimes. For single parents, that workload can be twice as hard. Maybe you have a friend who is a single parent, or your new co-worker is, too. The reality is this: single parents are capable of caring and raising their children by themselves. Yes, it may be harder, or for some, simpler. But just because they are a single parent does not mean you can say things that make them feel anything but capable of raising their family. Here are eight things you should never say to single parent.
8Asking The Whereabouts Of The Other Parent
According to Parents, this is one of the worst things you can say or ask to a single parent. If the child is happy and taken care of, does it truly matter where the other parent is? This is also a personal question to ask someone. Put yourself in their shoes – how would you feel? Sometimes, the situation may be sticky, or it’s just as simple as the other parent is not in the child’s life. No matter the situation, just don’t ask where the other parent is. It’s really none of your business.
7Asking If Their Children Have Their Same Father/Mother
This is quite possibly one of the rudest things you can say to a single parent with more than one child. It’s also something that is once again, none of your business, Parents reports. You don’t know the other person’s story or why their situation is what it is. It just comes down to making sure the children are happy and their well-being is taken care of.
6“You Must Love Getting A Break When Your Children Are At Your Ex’s House.”
Heidi McBain, a women’s mental health expert, told Best Life this statement is insensitive and does not “take into account” how much single parents more than likely do miss their children when they are gone. For some reason, there’s a belief that single parents resent having their children which is downright wrong. They aren’t any different than parents who have a partner. Single parents miss their children just as much when they’re gone. And if we're being honest, everyone loves a break now and then!
5“My Husband Is Out Of Town Right Now, So I Know Just What It Feels Like.”
Your husband, or wife, being away for a week or weekend is far from comparable to being a single parent. You are not a single parent full-time, so comparing your struggles as a parent with help from a partner is simply incomparable. It’s okay to not understand the hardships single parents go through. But the reality is, you just don’t know what it’s like to be a single parent even when your partner is gone for the week. Your partner will come back at some point, and your life will return to normal.
4“I Don’t Know How You Do It!”
Behind the scenes of what seems like an ideal movie sometimes are troubling moments for single parents. It’s not easy working full-time, being a parent and trying to have a social life. Single parents don’t typically ask parents with partners “how they do it” because, well, they just do. It’s the same all across the board. All parents just do what they need to do and that’s it. There’s no reason to single out single parents just because they don’t have a partner full-time.
3“The Kids Are Better Without Them.”
You don’t need to weigh in on what you think is best for the children, according to Worthy. Some single parents feel like their children are not better without the other parent, while others believe they are. The parent knows what’s best for their children, and you giving unsolicited advice is just unnecessary. Additionally, this comment is a dig at the other parent. According to Cosmopolitan, if the parent is not with the other parent, there is more than likely a good reason as to why.
2Asking About Their Dating Life
While it’s nice of you to try and play cupid, just don’t unless you’re asked to. Believe it or not, many people are perfectly happy with being single. If someone crosses their path that catches their eye, then great! If not, that’s perfectly okay, too.
1Using Terms “Baby Daddy” And “Baby Mama”
If you use these terms, you need to remove them from your vocabulary immediately. These terms are highly disrespectful to single parents and typically have a negative connotation. You can just as easily say “mom” or “dad.” Or, just use the person’s name. Be respectful of someone else’s feelings, and drop these terms.